Retail Nightmares and Mystery People

I have been working retail for the past four years of my life. It’s definitely a love-hate relationship. I hate the low pay and crappy hours, but I love working with people. I love just talking with random customers and getting to know my co-workers. AND Retail, I must say, is one of the best jobs to have if you enjoy people watching… which is perfect, because I LOVE people watching. I have seen some pretty hilarious things and met some really odd people… and, to no surprise, I have encountered numerous awkward situations. Here are some of my favorite (and most awkward) retail moments:

1. Working at Francesca’s Collections the summer after my senior year of high school in Highland Park, IL. If you don’t know much about Highland Park, I will just tell you now that most of the people who live there are Jewish. Rich Jewish people. Well, I am not Jewish and it never occurred to me that this factor would ever be an important factor with my job. One particularly busy day, I was helping out numerous customers at once, and one of them was looking for a Bat Mitzvah gift for her daughter’s friend. I was scrambling around gathering different necklaces and she looks at me and says, “Well, what did you get for your Bat Mitzvah?” Hmmm… “Oh, I never had a Bat Mitzvah.” A look of utter confusion passed over her face. “What? You never had a Bat Mitzvah?” “Oh, no, I didn’t, I’m not Jewish.” “You’re not Jewish...? Then… why do you work at Francesca’s?” I’m sorry, I didn’t know there was some rule that I had to be Jewish to work in a town that just happens to be inhabited by mostly Jewish people. I didn’t know what to say because I was utterly confused by her question. Then she asked who was Jewish in the store so they could help her find the perfect gift… hmmm. Bat Mitzvah fail.

2. Francesca's Collections: Summer 2007... a 12 year old kid asked for my number. fml.

3. Working at Forever 21: Summer 2008. Probably the most ghetto job ever and one of the most ghetto Forever 21 stores ever, but the stories are pretty awesome. One guy I worked with, Fabian, probably has 4 kids and he is my age. One of his baby mamas was actually my co-head cashier so her and I got pretty close after a while. Well, one day at work, I walk in, go right to the back room to lock up my stuff, and Fabian walks in. No joke, this kid hits on EVERYBODY that first starts out there. He sits at the table right next to the lockers and just looks at me. This next conversation isn't precisely word-for-word, but pretty close for how I remember it. What's goin' on, girl? Oh nothing really, just preparing for a long day. I really don't wanna be here. Yeah, it's been slow... so, what are you doin' later tonight? Well, I work till close so I won't be out of here till 11:30 or so. Yeah, girl, I hear ya, but what 'bout after that? Just going home. How 'bout coming to my house? Why? Are people going over? Nah, girl, just thought it could be you and me. You know... getting to know each other. Sorry, no, I can't. You aren't going to get rid of me this easy... and he walks out. Sorry Fabian, I didn't want to hang out. And I'm not ready to be a mom. And you're sketchy. So no. Never. Ever.

4. Forever 21: Summer 2008. Fabian... again... but this time, he wasn't hitting on me. He was working in the back of the store doing some maintenance stuff. I am at the registers at the front of the store and I see this little hispanic girl walk in just looking like she wants to kill someone. She looks around frantically and then comes up to me and asks where Fabian is. I point her to the back and she walks super fast in that direction. The store wasn't too busy and there was already someone else on the register so I decided to step away to see what is going on. When I follow the girl back to Fabian, she is screaming at him. All I hear is a lot of cuss words and Baby Mama, cheatin', and Baby Daddy. She starts hitting him and he's calling her a crazy B. It was seriously like watching a car wreck. I couldn't get my eyes off of this specular. It was a real fight and I hadn't seen one in SO long. I forget something that she said while they were fighting, but I thought it was hilarious. Well, I think the fact that I laughed out loud pissed her off, 'cause she turned around and looked at me and asked if I had a problem. At this point, I just don't want her to knife me. Luckily, the managers and security got her out right after she said that to me. I almost saw my life flash before my eyes... no, but seriously, if she took a swing at me, I totally would have fought back.

5. Forever 21: Summer 2008 (yeah there are a LOT). So, Forever 21 has a small lingerie department... it's tacky, and gross, and cheap. But, for some reason, it was all pretty popular among the shoppers. Well, guys don't really go into the store very often... unless they are either 1) with their wives/girlfriends or 2) looking for a gift for their wives/girlfriends. I love helping out male customers 'cause they seriously never have any clue what to get their significant others. Well, one day, I saw a 20-something year old guy wandering around the lingerie department looking lost and confused. As much as I would rather help customers find... well, actual CLOTHING, I knew that I should help him. I asked him if he needed any help and he went on this whole schpeel about how it's his and his girlfriend's 2 year anniversary and he wants to find her a "special" gift. Awkward. Well, I am trying to help him find some things and throughout the entire ordeal, he continues to ask me personal questions, like which things I like the best, my size, what I would want to get from my boyfriend, ect, ect... hmmm... 20 minutes of this and we eventually find something that he thinks will work. He asks me to hold it up to me so he can look at it "better". I continue to hold it out and he tells me that she is about the same size as I am so he just wants to make sure it looks okay. Yuck.

6. Working at Nouvelle Eve: Summer 2009. This is a high-end women's boutique I currently work at. Well, Saturday mornings in the summer downtown are always really busy because of the Farmer's market and how popular our store actually is. The store itself has a lot of "stuff" in it. A lot of merchandise, clothing racks, shelves, and display cases. Sometimes, it is seriously like a maze just maneuvering in and out of the plethora of clothing articles. I always bump into corners and clothing racks. One one busy Saturday, I was busy helping a couple of different customers. In a rush to get a few items from the back, I turned from the register pretty fast, walked quickly to the side, and ran STRAIGHT into the glass door of one of our Jewelry cases that was left open. Seriously, I ran directly into it. I didn't even know it was there. The entire store turns and starts laughing. I turn bright red and of course giggle awkwardly and start making fun of myself to lighten my embarrassment. But then, I turn to the side and I see people staring at me. See, right next door to Nouvelle Eve is M's, a pub/restaurant. There is a window in between our store and their restaurant so you can see right through... well, that window was right next to the jewelry case I had just ran into and people in M's who were trying to enjoy their lunch got entertainment as well. Thank to me and my clumsiness. Those observers/diners started laughing. I am glad I was not only able to make a fool out of myself in front of my customers and co-workers, but also to complete strangers just trying to enjoy a lunch at M's. I'm just happy I didn't completely knock down the jewelry case and break it.

7. Nouvelle Eve: this past Friday night. So, there is a Creighton student that looks almost exactly like my friend Alex except that he has a little lighter hair. I see him randomly around campus and I always try to take a picture, but he is normally either walking in front of me or he's too far away. Well, this past Friday night, I was working and Alex's Creighton twin walks in with his girlfriend. YES I thought. I text Alex to tell him and he tells me I should take a picture. BRILLIANT. Finally, I'll be able to prove this kid exists. Well, while another sales associate was helping his girlfriend find a sweater, I decide to try and take a picture nonchalantly. Well, he was in the PERFECT position, so I pull out my phone and try to be secretive. Well, as soon as I am about to press the 'capture' button, he turns and see me with my phone. I, automatically am flustered and blushing like crazy. But also, I have awful reflexes, so instead of just putting away my phone, I accidentally proceed to press 'capture' WHILE pulling down and hiding my phone. But, instead of my phone quietly taking a blurry picture of nothing, the sound was on and a giant *click* filled the room. He totally just saw me try to take a picture of him... and the camera sound just proved it. I awkwardly, pretend to look things up on the computer after this happens. The rest of the time this kid and his gf were there, he was as far away from me as possible... and his girlfriend bought an AWFUL sweater. Ugh, awkward. I hope I never see him on campus ever again.

These are only a few examples from my retail escapades... I am sure there will be more... With me, it's unavoidable.