Middle School: PART II (Need I Say More?)

Here is another part to the middle school madness/awkwardness. My students are amazing hilarious... and awful.

Tyreshia: I gots to write alllll that down? DAngggggggg.

Teryn: Miss Cavender, whats your name?

Me: Miss Cavender.

Teryn: Stop playin’ lady, I meant your first name.

Me: I’ll tell you my last day here.

Teryn: … okay. You look like a Shaniqua.

Me: Wow, you are really good at guessing, Teryn.

Teryn: I know right? You is so black.

Alex: Miss Cavender, what kind of music do you listen to?

ME: I listen to mostly rock and alternative.

Alex: Wher’d you grow up? Kentucky? Hillbilly.

Me: Are you kidding me? Rock is not hillbilly.

Alex: Whatever, Billy Ray Cyrus.

Austin: You have Husky eyes.

Marvin: AHHHH HA! He just called you a doooggggg!

Tyreshia: MMMM girl, that’s cute. (She says this about basically anything any girl does in class.)

RD: Are you rich?

Me: I’m not poor.

RD: Rich people always say that. Are you Warren Buffet rich?

Austin: Miss Cavender, why is the overhead still on?

Me: Oh, I forgot that it was. I’ll turn it off after I get your bellwork graded.

Austin: Can I turn it off?

Me: No, don’t worry about it. Go do your work.

Austin: Ugh, fine. I don’t need the exercise anyways.

Me: … Was that a comment made toward me?

Austin: ….

Me: Was that a fat joke?

Alex: DUDE, you’re in a hole! HA.

Me: Hey Austin, guess who gets docked for effort points today? YOU! Congrats.

Nandi is probably one of the quietest girls I have ever met In my entire life… but after one boy kept on bothering her and other students during class, this was her outburst: SHUT UP, DONKEY!

Dejion: You don’t like me, do you Miss Cavender?

Me: Why would assume I didn’t like you?

Dejion: Your face. You never have to say anything… I just know.

Teryn: Misssss CAVENDERRRRRRR!

ME: TERYNNNNNNNN.

Jack: Wow, I can tell you’re still a kid.

Me: What? How?

Jack: You just MOCKED him. Don’t get me wrong, I liked it… and he completely deserves it. Ass.

Pharoah: Miss Cavender, can I touch your hair?

Surrayah: Have you ever seen 'bad girls club'?

Me: No.

Surrayah: You seem like you’d be on that show. ‘Specially since you were born in Cali.

Me: Why do you pick fights with everyone?

DaTrion: I don’t pick fights with everyone, you is crazy. You pick fights with everyone.

Me: You’re doing it right now.

DaTrion: Yeah, I was just doin’ that ‘cause I’d knew It would bother you.

In a conversation about some hot wing restaurant

DaTrion: It’s so hot, you can’t even explain it, it’s so hot. I mean SO hot… like you wouldn’t even know, it’s so hot.

Morgan: So… I’m guessing it’s hot.

Teryn: Have you ever had any students disrespect you, Miss Cavender?

Me: Yeah.

Teryn: Really? Who would disrespect you? Gosh danggggg, I’d punch ‘em in the face. If you want, you can hire me as your bodyguard and I’d take care of ‘em for you.

Middle School: PART I (Need I Say More?)

I just realized that I have never posted anything that highlights my time student teaching in my middle school!

Think back to middle school... the years of acne, braces, and awkwardly detailed sex ed classes. The times when a kid farted in class, everyone laughed, thus keeping them distracted for the rest of the class period. The years of raging hormones and efforts of self-discovery. Seriously though, middle school sucked. I know I was awkward... and even if you deny it, you were awkward too.

I have SO many stories to tell from my student teaching experience thus far. But, to save time, I am just going to write out some of my favorite moments, the most memorable quotes, and some little details about some of my students.

Here's the set up: I am teaching 7th, 8th, and 8th honors art at a local lower income public school. Most kids are African American. I have a lot of ESL (English as a Second Language) and ELL students. They are basically all taller than I am.

Teryn: Miss Cavender, what was your first job?

Me: I was a swim instructor and a lifeguard.

Devont'ae: Yeah, that seems fitting for you.

Me: How is that?

Devont'ae: I mean, you seem like... well, you're in shape... I mean you look like you have the figure for it... like you look good, I mean in shape... (stammering and stuttering through this)

Me: .......

Jack: Wow, Devont'ae. Tell us how you really feel.

Jack: Why are your eyes white?

Me: They aren't white.

Jack: Yeah they are.

Me: You're in art class, what color are my eyes?

Jack: ... white.

Me: ... And I have failed as your art teacher.

Me: Megan, how was visiting your twin in Minneapolis this weekend? (her and her sister were separated at birth and just got in contact.. crazy but true.)

Megan: Good! We had fun.

Me: Are you two anything alike?

Megan: Well, not really... she likes to play outside and I don't...

Me: ... oh... anything else that's different?

Megan: ... well, she likes dogs and I don't.

Me: Well, I guess I could see how that would be difficult.

Tyreshia: You's a party girl, ain't you?

Me: Why did you even bring that up? Get back to work, please.

Tyreshia: Yeah you isssss... you is craaaaaaaazy. You be on one of those party block shows. Hollaaaaa.

Brandon: Miss Cavender, what is the chance of one of your students getting your number?

Me: One in a million.

Brandon: So you're saying there's a chance?

Me: Um, absolutely not... wait, did you just quote 'Dumb and Dumber'?

Brandon: Yep.

Me: Nice.

Capria: Miss Cavender?

Me: Yes Capria?

Capria: If I tell you something, do you promise not to get mad?

Me: Um, it depends on what it is...

Capria: ... Okay, well I'll just tell you anyways... your clothes don't match.

Levi: I can blow bubbles out of my eyes... WANNA SEE?!

Me: Ew, no.

Levi: Too bad, I am showing you anyways.

Scott and RD: Miss Cavender, it's 4/20.

Here's a story about one of my favorite students named Mason. He is kind of the loner, artsy type. He listens to hardcore music and is always really good in class. He he almost a black belt in some kind of karate or martial arts. Kind of on the small side and not really one of the popular kids. I guess he had been being kind of bullied for awhile. Well, last week, he was gone Monday thru Thursday... 4 days gone is obviously due to a suspension. I later found out that I guess after school the previous Friday, that bully started to tease Mason again. Mason I guess just had enough and beat the CRAP out of this 5'11 8th grader. I am not a big fan of fighting, but to be honest with you, I am pretty gosh dang proud of Mason. I laughed for about 5 minutes straight when I found this out... and I really just want to give him a high five... but I know that would not be very professional...

Okay, more stories and quotes to come... I have TONS... it's just my battery is dying and I don't have my charger with me. Look for PART II soon.

Skirt + Wind = .....

Yep. You guessed it.

This post is pretty short due to the immense embarrassment I am trying to endure while also keeping it low key.

It has been absolutely GORGEOUS in Omaha these past few days. I am talking 80's. SO NICE. Well, I got back from school today and decided to change into a new skirt I just bought before I had to go to work. I am really lucky that I work just a few blocks from my apartment, so no matter the weather, I walk. Well, today was no exception. I was walking to work... in my new short linen skirt. Well, I obviously wasn't thinking because today was especially windy. I was trying my best to hold down my skirt as I was walking to work, but as I was crossing one of the main streets in the old market, I dropped my cell phone, and I reached to get it. Well, me reaching for my phone equaled me letting go of my skirt. Yep... skirt flew up. On one of the main streets in the Old market. Right about dinner time. In 80 degree weather. Well, I quickly pulled it down and pretended like it didn't happen.... cause really, I didn't want to draw attention to myself... or acknowledge how many people saw this event... and I am fully aware that people DID see this.

Well, about half an hour later, as I am walking around and organizing some of the clothes in the store. I get to the lingerie section, which is by one of our big windows. Three boys walk by, glance at me, look at each other, then walk back right to the window near where I was standing. They point to the underwear... and then me... and then give me a thumbs up. Creeps. I shook my head and they just smiled cooly and walked away.

I am guessing they saw this unfortunate event before work. I wanted to die.