Sprinklers.

I had a horrible day yesterday... really, just horrendous. That's a completely different story though. But for background sake, I was on campus in the art building from 8am until 10:30 pm. I love art, but this was not my idea of a fun time, but whatever.

Outside the art building, there is this little field/lawn area right next to the street where I parked. Now, there is a sidewalk that goes around the entire field to the street, but it takes you way out of your way. When I normally park on the street, I just cut across the field and walk on the grass. No biggie. A little bit of a shortcut. Well, after last night, I may rethink taking this shortcut...

When I left, like I said before, it was 10:30 pm and super dark out. I walked outside and began walking through the lawn to my car while simultaneously texting. Well, as soon as I was a little less than halfway across the lawn, all the automatic sprinklers in the grass come up and turn on. I am SURROUNDED by sprinklers at this point and just getting soaked. I just ran and tried getting to my car as fast as I could. My bag, all my papers, my clothes, but luckily not my phone, were drenched. Best part of me getting caught in the sprinklers? Public safety rode by on their bikes and just laughed at me.

Wow... first week of school and I am already making a fool of myself. Awesome.

Yet another retail adventure...

As most of you know, especially due to the mass numbers of blogs I have written about my current employer, I work in retail. I have discovered that working in retail is SO much more than just selling clothes and accessories... it means you have to deal with some of the weirdest people on the face of the planet. I have to deal with stupid questions, awkward comments, and embarrassing situations at least three days a week. LUCKY ME. Here are a few of my most recent encounters with some of the shoppers...

1. An older man came in with his two, YOUNG, female escorts and allotted them each $1500 to spend. Together, they spent $700. Now, If I was a female escort and obviously did not care about this man or how I was perceived, I would have spent EVERY LAST PENNY of my $1500 share... but I'm just saying.

2. I helped yet another older couple pick out lingerie. I never know what to do when this happens... I for sure blush, I know that. I just got really awkward because they weren't really using the best language or the most appropriate terms when discussing the lingerie, it's fit, the purpose, etc... you get what I'm trying to say. But without going into too much detail, the husband dropped over $300 on his wife... I am one darn good salesperson.

3. Chubby Little kid: "Ummmm... do, ummm, do you, ummm bathroom, um, have a bathrooooom?!" By the end, he was basically screaming. Sorry to tell you kid, but we don't... and it's not polite to scream at people.

4. A regular shopper, let's call her Leslie, called the other day... and I was the lucky one to answer. She asks for one of our managers who wasn't there... "That's okay, YOU can help me, Ah hahahahahaha!" She starts naming off all these things she is looking for: different items, designers, and companies. "Just set them aside for me! Pick out what you think will look good!" I had no idea what she looked like. "I'm a mom though though... and you know, things kind of shift and sag. Hahahahaha!" Ew. Way too much information. "I also get hot flashes so nothing too heavy, hahaha!" Wow, she laughed a lot... actually it was more like a cackle. After about ten minutes on the phone with her, we finally hung up and I began my search for the mom-like, anti-hot flash clothing in size I have no clue. I picked out about twenty different items and she stopped in about an hour later to try them on. First of all, I guess this woman used to be a model, so in her heels, she was about 6'2''... WAY shorter than me. Good thing I grabbed mediums and larges. The entire time she was trying things on, she would just be laughing all by herself and making beyond random comments. At one point, she came out to ask my opinion on a top, and she looks me dead in the eye and says, "Hey, do you have any drinks in the back? Would you mind running over next door to M's pub and grabbing me a cocktail? You know, long day with the kids, hahahaha!" I had no idea if she was serious or not... I didn't get her one though. She ended up dropping a significant amount of money, but she was one of the craziest and spastic people I have ever met in my entire life... with the craziest cackle.

5. What a mom said to me when I was helping her and her daughter find a homecoming dress: "These are all so cute! How are we supposed to choose? What are you wearing to homecoming?" She was looking straight at me for my response... yep, once again I was mistaken for a teenager... "Oh, I am actually 22." "Oh, I'm sorry! Well, good news is that if you wanted to crash a homecoming, no one would notice!" Strangest compliment I have gotten in a long time.

Winking.

Here's a little fun fact about Beth Cavender:

She feels really awkward when people wink at her. She gets all flustered and tends to blush really bad... especially when boys do it. Don't know why, it just happens. It reminds her of creepy men who have dirty minds.

If you wink at her, she will get awkward.