Ultimate Frisbee Champ?! Well... It Depends on the Day.....

So, I guess you could say I am not that coordinated.  That actually might be an understatement.  But anyways, I have never really been that great at organized sports unless I am constantly in the action because I get bored too easily... Hello ADHD.  But, I do pride myself in one thing... and that is ULTIMATE FRISBEE.  An amazing sport.  Constant action, running, catching, the whole nine yards.  I would consider myself pretty decent of a player... especially considering I am really short.  But, sometimes, I get a little too cocky when we decide to play at youth group.  I start talking about how I am actually pretty good.  No one believes me of course, cause they are all used to the goofy, uncoordinated Beth that is around 99% of the time.  Well, of course I get defensive and think, "I'll show them!" Well, a couple of weeks ago at youth group, this is exactly how the night started. Me. Ego. Defensive.  Anyways, we started playing... and I probably shouldn't have even opened my big mouth.  Cause of course, the one night I am SO excited to play, I suck.  I was tripping every where.  I was dropping the easiest passes.  I was throwing off target and just NOT playing well.  NOT to mention, I fell down.  Twice.  One was a really excellent FACE PLANT and the second was running backwards to catch a pass in the end zone.  I biffed it on this mini hill.  Another? I almost ran into a tree.  I really am NOT this bad... I have no problem admitting when I suck at something, but this was just embarrassing.  Now, people will probably pick me last to be on the team... that's what I get for talking smack... after that, everything goes downhill (literally...).

4 second rule = IDIOTIC

Every Wednesday after junior high youth group, all of the leaders go to either Applebees or Cheeseburger in Paradise for half off appetizers.  It is a beautiful tradition. Well, on this one particular summer Wednesday, I was having a horrible day.  I was just in a bad mood... one of those moods that anything little will set you off.  Not to mention, I think this was the night Alex Hall dropped Queso on my pants.  I wanted to vomit (I HATE cheese, for any of you who do not know...).  Okay, anyways, so we finish up our little appetizer time and I start driving home.  Well, I live about 30 minutes from church, so it is quite a trek.  Well, I was on 1-80 and about 4 miles from my exit, I see a K-9 unit police SUV start driving next to me... Yes, those are the drug bust police cars.  AWESOME.  I hate cops so I make sure I am driving the speed limit. A mile before my exit, I get stuck behind a semi going ten under the speed limit... But with the stupid cop still near me, of COURSE I am not going to try and speed up enough to pass him.  Well, as soon as I am about to get onto my exit, yep, you guessed it, Mr. K-9 turns on his lights. ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.  My bad day turned HORRIBLE.  I angrily got out all my registration and insurance crap cause I knew he was going to ask for it.   I look to my window and there he is... just waiting for me... jerk. I roll down my window and I hand him all the information he asked for. Now, here is how the rest of the conversation went: 

Where are you headed?

Home.

Where's home?

14th and Jackson.

Where are you coming from?

I know this may sound cliche, but youth group.

Have you been drinking tonight?

.... What? No! I just came from youth group.

Okay, you just need to calm down.

Umm... I AM calm!

Do you know why I pulled you over?

No idea, actually.

It's really loud on the road, do you mind coming into my vehicle to talk more?

Really?

Yes.

... ugh, Alright.

(Get out and go to his car. He starts looking up all my info on his little computer while his German shepherd in the back seat is smelling me from behind his little panel thing...)

Who is Dennis Cavender?

My dad.

Why are you all the way in Nebraska if you are from Illinois?

I go to school at Creighton.

Oh great, what are you studying?

Art and Education.

So why were you out west again?

I told you, I work with a youth group and I was just driving home from it.

What church?

Stonebridge Christian Church. 156th and Maple.

Have you been drinking tonight?

No. You want the youth pastor's name and phone nu

mber to confirm?

No, that won't be necessary. Have you been pulled over before?

Yes, sir.

Do you know why I pulled you over?

... No.

You were following too closely to the semi in front of you.

... That's a law?

Have you ever heard of the 4 second rule?

Sounds familiar... but I'm not sure. What is it?

You watch a car pass a landmark, count to 4, and then you pass the landmark.  That's how spaced out you should be.

I thought that was more of a safety thing...

And you have not been drinking tonight?

Ummm.... NO.

Well, I guess this time, I will give you a verbal warni

ng. Next time, watch your spacing.

Okay... Thanks...?

Dumb cop just looking for a drink driver. And have you ever done that 4 second thing? Honestly, that is SOOOO much space. No one follows t

hat "rule". 

How do you say 'kiss' in french?

So, this summer, I was driving down 13th street heading home from... something... meh, I don't remember what it was.  Well anyways, I was literally two blocks from my apartment when the truck in front of me stopped really fast.  Luckily I was far enough away to stop a major collision, but, bad news, I still hit him.  When I did, I started FREAKING out.  I was thinking to myself, "Great, Beth, you IDIOT. Now you are going to have to pay for the damage, have to deal with your parents yelling at you, have to deal with the stupid police and insurance companies, blah blah blah..." Like I said... Freaking.  Well, the guy I hit (in a junky old pick up truck) kept on driving... ummm... what? I rolled down my windows, and motioned him to pull over.  I didn't know if I had done any damage, and as much as I would have liked to forget that I even hit him, I couldn't.  We needed to settle this and get things looked at.  Well, he pulled over on Jackson, RIGHT in front of my apartment.  I got out and walked over to his car and was looking at the back of his truck.  The foot step part was a little bent down, but other than that, everything looked okay.  I looked at my car and the only thing that was damaged was that my license plate was a little bent.  Seriously, this was LUCKY.  Well, the guy got out of his truck, started looking at it, and I started apologizing like I have never apologized before.  Seriously.  I was groveling.  After a few minutes of silence and a couple of blank stares from his part, I realize, "oh... this guy doesn't speak English."  He was Hispanic... and as for me? I know about three words in Spanish.  NOT IDEAL.  Well, he's looking at the foot step and I offer to call the police if wanted to file a report.  Immediately he looks at me and says, "No, no, no.  No police." Well, okay then, if you insist.  I ask him if he wants my insurance, and I show him my card.  He says, in very broken English, "No. Not bad. Fifty dollars."  All he wants is fifty dollars? Seriously? I could do that... I had $50 cash on me if that would take away this mess.  Even though the damage to his truck didn't look bad, you know how mechanics are... they overcharge for everything.  Anyways, I continue to apologize and ask him if there is anything I can do.  He tells me, "No, it's okay."  I thank him for his kindness and understanding.  He smiles at me and then walks over to my car, investigating any damage.  He looks at my license plate and asks, "You are not from Omaha? Illinois?" I told him how I was here in Omaha for school at Creighton.  I was willing to chat for a little bit... I mean, I did hit the guy and he let me off.  He told me how he was taking English classes at a local community college.  It took him a long time to say what he was trying to say.  He corrected himself often, thought hard about his word choices, and when I answered him, it took him a few moments to process my response.  He asked me if I spoke Spanish.  I told him no, but I speak a little bit of French.  He says, "Oh... how... how do you say 'kiss' in French?"... Ummmm, WHAT?! Did I understand you alright? Did you just ask me how to say 'kiss'?  He was giving me a goofy little glare, and I say, "Oh, umm... do you means keys?" (imagine me at this time holding up my keys...) He laughs and says, "No. KISS (makes a pucker)." Well, of course I laugh my "nervous" laugh and I said no.  Well, the rest of the 40 MINUTES (really? 40 minutes? WAY too long...) he was trying to talk to me, he asked me about my family, my home in Chicago, if I wanted to go salsa dancing that night (I said no, duh) and if I had a boyfriend... Now, normally, I don't lie about having a boyfriend, BUT in this case I did.  I just said, oh, yeah, big guy. Plays American Football.  So after having to endure that painfully awkward conversation, I finally was let loose from the man whom I hit, who then proceeded to hit on me... this WOULD happen...

Leo... you trickster...

So, back in January, my car (his name is Leo... YES, after Leonardo DiCaprio) got broken into.  The little stealer smashed in my passenger side window and stole 1) an eyelash curler 2) my insurance card... which is useless for them, really... 3) a couple of mixed cds that I made a long time ago and 4) my glasses case. I even had clothes, shoes, my iPod converter, and my iPod in my car... along with a TON of cds... way to choose wisely you stupid culprit.  ANYWAYS, of course I had to get my window replaced.  Well, it got fixed and a few months ago, my passenger side door wouldn't open from the inside.  I wondered if maybe when they replaced my window, they weakened a connector or something to the handle.  When I got my door checked out, the guy told me that I was right in my conclusion.  It looked like the window guy didn't connect something in the process of putting my interior door frame back on and the handle connectors (or whatever they are called) weakened and just needed to be reconnected.  He didn't even make me pay because it was "their fault".... NICE! Well, I thought everything was fixed, when a few weeks ago, my passenger side window would roll up or down.  REALLY?! I feel like the minute I get one thing fixed, another thing breaks down.  Well, then I realized that my window was cracked open a little bit.  Uh oh. It even rained before I went to go get my window looked at.  A good inch of water at the bottom of my car... NOT SO NICE.  Well, I called and made an appointment with a glass/window company out west.  I took in my car and sat in the waiting room.  The owner of the company came out and sat with me.  He was super nice and really great- We were just chatting about Creighton, about our majors, about his journey to owning a glass company, and so on and so forth.  Well, in the middle of our conversation, one of the workers comes out from the back door, looks at me and says, "Miss Cavender? Could you come back here with me for a second?" I followed him to the back where he proceeded to tell me that Leo was fine.... Excuse me? Ummm, no, he's not.  His window won't go up or down.  "Well," he says, "it would be hard to roll up or down when you have the window lock button on..."  [[Insert me turning bright red and saying, "You have GOT to be kidding me?! Are you serious?!]] He started laughing and then starting rolling the window up and down.  So good news, my car was fine and I got it all checked out... but, bad news? I am an idiot and took it into a maintenance guy to tell me that I simply pressed a button which then locked me window.  I hope I never have to go back there... just so I will quit being so embarrassed....

Workin' on my Fitness!

Like I have mentioned on numerous occasions, I'm clumsy.  Ignoring this known fact about myself, I thought it would be a good idea to train for a half-marathon.  I kind of suck at running, so I definitely needed a head start to help train my body.  I started "training" in April... (right now, "training" means running at least a few times a week just to get used to running being a part of my weekly habits).  

Let's look at the Beth Half Marathon Training Equation shall we?:

Beth + Clumsiness + Running + Outdoors + Gyms + "unobservantness" = Disaster

Here are a few good stories from my running experiences so far:

1.  I ran into a bush.  I was doing just great on this particular run... before this occurrence.  I was feeling really good, I just got used to running outside and figuring out a good pace, it was a day I was suppose to run farther than I ever had, and I was making great time.  Well, I had just a couple of blocks left to complete.  I was still feeling really good and thought I could run a little further, so I decided to take a different route downtown.  Well, I turned a corner, and there was a bush.  Just right there.  I ran into it, tripped over it, stumbled and almost fell on my face.  I stopped for a second, looked up, and across the street, there was a little deli place where people were eating lunch outside.  Of course people started laughing.  Let's just say, I ran faster than ever after that.  I had some good scrapes to prove it too!

2. Geese chased after me.  For those of you who know the downtown Omaha area, I like to run around the ConAgra lake.  Well, during the day, the lake is filled with ducks and geese... really BIG ducks and geese.  Normally, they just chill out and watch me as a pass by.  But one day, I was taking a little rest and just walking.  Well, I realized I walked right next to a Goose nest, and the next thing I knew, a stupid goose started honking at me (most obnoxious sound ever) and Geese started chasing me after me.  I never realized how violent they are... I ran away and now, whenever I pass by Geese, I run a little bit faster.

3. A couple weeks ago, I started to get shin splints and my right ankle (which I dislocated freshman year in high school) started to flare up.  My beginners training for the Lincoln half marathon was put on a hold for a little bit while I stretched and used the elliptical.  Well, today, I got back into running.  I decided to go to the Harper Center gym since I was already on campus (and they have an amazing facility).  Well, I don't go in there very often because I usually just run outside or use my apartment's fitness center, but I did my little routine: Stretch, walk, run, walk, stretch, weights, stretch.  Since the flu is going around, I decided to go to the bathroom to wash my hands when I was done.  So, I walk into the bathroom... and I see a urinal... I pause there for a second, the light-bulb turns on, and I run out.  Totally walked into the men's room.  I am not sure if anyone saw me...

Working out and running, average things to do, even turn awkward and ridiculous.  Love my life...

"Congratulations!"

I'm sure all of you girls remember, but a couple of years ago, baby doll dresses (which looked very similar to maternity dresses) were in style.  Well, I found a dress at New York & Company I really liked.  Abstract floral print, baby doll, empire waist, pleaded, the whole enchilada.  Super cute, basically.  Well, one fateful Sunday, about a month after I bought this dress, I wore it to Church back at home.  Girl friends complimented me, and I was thinking in my head, Yeah! This dress is awesome! Great buy, Beth! After the service, I walked over to the coffee bar, got some water, and an older woman comes up to me, grabs me by side, puts one hand on my stomach, and says, "Congratulations! When are you due?..."

...................

...................

.... Excuse me? 

I looked her in the eye, with both disgust and embarrassment saying, "Oh... I'm not pregnant..."  She just looked at me and said, "Oh, well you don't see those kind of dresses on many women who are not pregnant... cute though..." [woman walks away]

Self esteem went from a 9 to a -112.