Ski School

I am currently in Steamboat, Colorado skiing with my family.

You could say that I don't always have the best luck with ski trips. When I was in seventh grade, I broke my wrist in three different places while sledding... three days BEFORE our Christmas ski trip. Result? A week of staying in our condo watching moral court tv with my Grandma while everyone else enjoyed the beautiful mountains. Three years ago, we went to our house in Palisade, Colorado (Western side of the mountains). I decided to snowboard... andddd that wasn't so good. Feeling confident, I decided to go down the mountain with the rest of my family... Roughest run of my life. Exhausted and frustrated, I caught an edge wrong and slipped backwards, slamming my head on ice. Result? A concussion and two sick days. Senior year on a youth group ski trip to Devil's Head, WI, I wasn't paying attention while on a lift. Result? Everyone else getting off just fine and me falling off, face first into the snow right in front of the lift. I was only "slightly" embarrassed when the lift operator had to stop the entire lift to help me up. There have also been numerous minor injuries and dozens of bruises. But, I am sure that none of this surprises you...

Well, I hope I am not speaking too quickly, but this ski trip has been relatively good for me! After not having skied for a few years, I would say I'm doing quite well. I have had a couple of good falls, but nothing too serious. Overall, I am just sore, but that's common. And maybe my new helmet helps out just a little bit.

Even though no serious injuries have developed (yet...), awkwardness still followed me to Colorado.

Yesterday, I went skiing with my sisters and their husbands while my dad stayed behind to take a day off. We were on our third run or so when every pulled to the side of the run to rest for a second. I, however, missed the memo that we were all going to stop, and being on the other side of the run, I didn't have time to cross over to stop with them. I kept skiing down and stopped in front of one of those "SLOW" banners. Well, the blue run we were on collided with a green run... so naturally, there were people of various of ski abilities that ended up on the same mountain at some point. When I stopped by that sign, I noticed a little girl, probably about six years old, next to me. One by one, other six year olds started flying down the green run and stopped right next to the little girl. After about two minutes, I looked behind me, and there were eight or nine five-six year olds surrounding me. They were either friends or in the same ski school is what it looked like... but I didn't see any instructor. I look up the mountain to where my sisters and brother-in-laws were and they were sitting there, staring at me, and laughing hysterically.

I apparently either 1) Looked like the mother of the flock of little children, 2) Looked like the ski instructor, or 3) Looked like one of them.

I looked around me again and all the little kids were staring at me. I didn't really know what to say so I just asked them how their day was and if they were having fun. Luckily, I didn't stay too much longer by that sign and with all the kids. But, my family did laugh at me for the remainder of the day.

Just picture that sight in your mind... Me. Surrounded by a herd of little ski children. Hanging out together at the bottom of the ski run. Nice.

Next time, I'll try to be a little more aware of when my group is stopping so I don't have to look like a child, a mother, a ski instructor, or just an adult who is so bad at skiing I had to be in a class with five and six year olds.

A Great Sister

This one is short... but enjoyable nonetheless.

Friday night after work, I went to my good friend James' going away party. Naturally, it was Christmas themed, so I busted out my sweater/80's dressy top (sequined Holly flowers/leaves EVERYWHERE). I knew I couldn't stay long because I had to get up super early the next morning because I was driving home. I stayed for about an hour, had a good time, left, and got into my car. I looked at my phone and realized I had missed a call from my sister Jackie. It was kind of late, so I decided not to call her back.

The next day, as I was driving home, I get a call from Jackie. SHOOT, I forgot to call her back, even after I listened to the voicemail she left me. I answered, "Hi sister... I saw you called, sorry I didn't call you back last night!"

Her response? "Wow, you're alive! Why didn't you call me back? Were you out drinking and acting like a ho?"

......... Thanks, Jackie. Obviously, we have a really great relationship :)

WHAT?!

It's been almost a MONTH?! WHAT?! I know, I know, sorry for keeping y'all out of the 'awkward' loop... since I know you're all dying to know what situations have come up...

Well, here is a brief look into the various awkward situations that have conveniently found me over the past month:

1. I was peed on. YEP. The littlest girl I nanny got mad at me one day for not making crappy little cupcakes on her poser easy bake oven. When she gets bossy or whiney, I have this routine of making a tally count on the white board in the kitchen, and when she hits 3, she gets a time out. She got to 3, and since she hates when I put her in timeout, she thought peeing when I was carrying her to her room would be a better idea. I made her clean it up.

2. I was begged by my mom, for the fifth time, to go out on a date with an old "friend"... if you know the details of certain events or the individual himself, you would think it was awkward too. Plus, old flings should just be no-go's.

3. I got marriage counseling from the kids I nanny. They asked if I was married. I said no, naturally, and they told me I better hurry up or no guy would like me because I was getting too old... then the oldest, Joslyn, told me that if I waited too long to have kids, they would come out looking like monkeys... what are they teaching in public schools these days!?

4. I sat in Burnt sienna oil paint one day in the art studio. Luckily, I had a second pair of jeans in my car, so I left to go out to get them. Walking down the hallway, I run into three of my art professors and chat with them a little bit. I go, get my pants, and take them to go change. I run into one of the professors again, her being my advisor, and she stops me. "Beth, if you needed a tampon, you could have asked me..." So, apparently, her and the other professors thought I had my period and was leaking. Blushing like CRAZY, I had to awkwardly explain to her that the suspected menstrual blood was, in fact, burnt sienna paint. Why I get into these types of situations in the art room, I don't know.

5. At work, I helped a 70-something year old couple find lingerie. Okay, now, here's the thing. If I'm married, and both my husband and I are still living, YEAH I hope we are still having sex, DUH. But it's a completely different situation when you are trying to find intimate apparel for others... Old people PDA...

6. Yesterday, after a huge ice storm and lots of freezing rain mixed with all the snow from last week's snow storm, I fell. A lot. Like, a lot a lot. 8 times to be exact. That's got to be a record. None of the falls were bad... but I did run into like 5 cars trying to catch myself. Creighton University's campus was a day-long ice skating rink...

Well, those are a few updates from the past month! Hopefully I will be better about updating them more regularly :)

Have an amazingly awkward day!