For example: On Halloween, I went to Chipotle. Well, from 6-9, if you wear tin foil, Chipotle will give you a free burrito. I, however, had to be someplace during that time frame. I REALLY wanted a free burrito though, so I went to Chipotle to try out my negotiation skills. I went up to the counter and there was this nervous looking high school boy waiting for me to order. This is what I said, "Okay, so I need to know something. I know that from 6-9, you guys give free burritos. Well, I need to be someplace at 5:30 and won't be able to make it during that designated time. But, I did have full intentions on going... and dressing up... so, I was wondering, do you think I could have a free burrito?" I of course innocently batted my eyes and smiled, trying to sucker my way in. He looked at me and said, "Are you serious?".... Ummm, yes, very. His response, to my surprise, "Ummm, okay fine." AWESOME.
Now, I normally don't lead on random people, but, if it results in a free meal, I occasionally go against my normal instincts and kick up the "flirt" level. Shallow? I wouldn't use THAT word. I would say... Clever.
Well, I was at Noodles & Company getting food before I was supposed to nanny last week, and without the intention of getting free food, I ordered. I was completely normal. So, I ordered my meal to go, paid, and sat down at the counter. I was texting and when I looked up, there was a guy just standing there staring at me. He said, Oh, I KNOW you wanna text me, girl... No need though, I'm right here... **insert cheesy smile**... (And what do I say? Nothing. I just awkwardly laugh and ignore him. He seemed alarmed by the fact I didn't really care, and so he went over behind the counter, pulled out a large fountain drink cup and put it in front of me.) Here's a large drink if you take the rest of my shift for me. Hahaha, sorry but I can't. I have to go nanny. Hell girl, I will nanny for you if you just do me this one favor. You wanna nanny 6 kids? 6? Oh, gross no, never mind. Yeah, I didn't think you would. Oh, don't get me wrong. I LOVE kids. They love me too. I can't wait to be a dad. .... uh, Okay. But seriously, go get a drink for yourself, sweetheart. Oh, seriously? Ummm... thanks. I feel like I've seen you around... do you go out dancing a lot? Umm... no. Well, you should. I can definitely see you out there. (OKAY. AT THIS POINT I JUST WANT TO DIE.) Thanks... well, thanks for the drink. (I grabbed my food and got out of there as soon as I could)
I regret taking that free drink. Why is it that I attract creepers? 'Tis my life, apparently.
No comments:
Post a Comment