Theme Party... and What NOT to Say...

Before I went on holiday to Australia, I went to an 80's aerobics theme party for a friend's birthday.  Her and her husband go to ReChurch and are super into themed parties, which is great because it has been a really great way to connect with people that they work with and are friends with outside the Christian circle.  I have gotten to know them pretty well over the past few months I have been in NZ and so when they invited me to the party, I was so pumped.  I love theme parties.

Well, someone at the party was wearing what Americans would call a 'fanny pack'... see below:

Well, don't ever tell any Kiwi, especially a male Kiwi, that you really really like their fanny pack.  'Fanny' to Kiwi's means 'vagina'...

You can tell how confused I was when I was getting crazy looks from the guy at the party and how embarrassed I was when I was corrected by an American that has been living in NZ for quite some time... I need to watch what I say...

Glass Door

By the title of this new post, I can bet you anything you know what bethism act most likely transpired...

Naturally, because of the earthquake, a lot of shops and stores had a lot of damage done to them.  I was at one of the malls one afternoon around the busy lunchtime hour.  I had finished what I needed to get inside and was headed back to the car park with my host family.  As I was passing by Border's, I noticed a lot of work being done on the inside.  I was extremely intrigued.  I continued walking as I watched worker fixing the glass, re-wiring different sections of the store, and pulling up carpet.  Amidst being so transfixed with the remodeling and cleaning up of Border's, I failed to really watch where I was walking.

My lack of attention to my walking path led me straight into a glass partition/door of the neighboring coffee shop where numerous people were out dining for lunch.  I am talking SMACK into the glass partition.  I had to almost catch myself.  I paused, realizing what had just happened, and I looked through the partition at the people staring at me.  Everyone, even those across the road, turned to look at me and started snickering.  I, of course, turned bright red and started walking super fast to catch up with my host family who were way in front of me. 

I need to pay way more attention when I am walking.

If This Ever Happens to Me, I will DIE.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Unicorns are Silly.

Sometimes, you just meet the most interesting people...

It's no mystery by now that I am awkward...

... I mean, why else would I have created this blog?

However, my life also highly demonstrates my potential of getting into awkward situations and meeting other awkward people in very interesting ways.  Here's more proof of this:

I ride the bus everyday to and from the office.  As I was waiting for my bus to arrive yesterday, this guy walked up the the stop and stood directly behind me.  Pretty weird in general, because anything behind you is a blind spot.  I kind of glanced around and then turned back to face the street again.  Another minute passed and he moved up right next to me.  "I wish there was at least one bloody cloud in the sky," he said without really looking at me.  I just did my awkward pity laugh that I do when I don't know anything else to say.  Then I remembered, oh yeah, Kiwis LOVE to talk about the weather (fact... they do... probably because it literally changes DRASTICALLY each day... not kidding)... so I decided to just keep talking about the weather.  About how hot it was on that particular day, how rainy it was the day before, and how I am glad I am not back in the States where Chicago seems to keep getting blasted with all the crazy snowstorms.  He started asking me all sorts of questions about America:  What are the people like, job opportunities, cities, the party scenes... etc... I then asked him where he was from, and at this point, this kid just starts RANTING and spilling his guts to me.  Telling me how much he didn't get along with his family, how he moves every couple of months just because he is bored, how he has no interest in finding a job because he has government benefit money to hold him over for awhile, and about the new flat he found for $110 a week.

At that moment, I was pretty excited when my bus showed up.  But as soon as I stood up, he stood up with me and continued talking, I realized that this must have been his bus as well.  Once I got on the bus, he kind of paused from talking.  No one was really on the bus - PLENTY of open seats around me - and he comes over to me and says, "This seat taken?" And sat right now next to me.  I thought to myself, 'Alright, just 15 more minutes and you're all good.'  Our conversation on the bus?  Him asking me, "OKAY, guess how old I am? I bet you can't get it right... Everyone thinks I am a lot younger than I look."  To me, this guy looked about 30, but going off of what he said, I replied, "Hmmm... 23? 24?"  He just starts laughing, "NO! I am 19!"  WHAT?! No way... maybe like 10 years ago... So I decided to test him as well since 'how old are you?' is one of the most common questions people ask me.  He thought I was 16.  Big surprise there.  Then he started talking about how he smokes and chews tobacco (hence one reason he might look so old) and then we started debating on why someone should or should not smoke.

I was extremely relieved when I saw my stop in the distance.  I asked him where he was headed (since my stop is one of the last few on the route) and he responded, "Oh, no where really... I have nothing really to do until my mate picks me back up at the mall later..." Soooooo he just decided to ride the bus with me because he was bored? Alrighttttttt kind of creepy, but whatever. Needless to say, I got off the bus rather quickly...

I found out his name was Ryan... so I may or may not be seeing him around... he DOES know my bus stop, so I wouldn't be surprised after THIS encounter...

Metro Mega Fall

Since I am too scared to drive on the left side of the street (and too cheap to get a car for 6 months), my choice of transportation is the Metro bus.  I have notice a DRASTIC difference between the public transportation system here in ChristChurch versus that of Omaha or even Chicago... It is SUPER nice.  Really really clean and almost everyone takes it.  It's pretty cool, actually.

So, I was on my way to work this morning, and it was my official first day of taking the bus all by myself so I could get used to the system.  I was really excited, because I got on my right line at the right time and I arrived at my stop.  NO PROBLEMS.  I was so proud.

Then came the matter of getting OFF the bus.  Rule here is:  People get off the bus first and then let everyone else at the stop on.  Well, I was toward the front of the bus so that basically meant I was the first one responsible for getting off.  I stand up, walk off... and TOTALLY underestimated how far the footpath (sidewalk) was from the bus... and ate it.  And of course, the bud stop was totally full of people trying to get on and a lot of people on the bus waiting to get off because it is a really popular stop.

Luckily, people in NZ are way nicer than people in the states and a couple people helped me up.  I brushed off and after thanking people, I walked quickly to the office.

Just because I am on the opposite side of the world doesn't mean that my awkwardness didn't follow me here...

Step 1: Be Aware of the Culture You Are In...

Making mistakes, especially in terms of social culture, are extremely common when you move to a foreign place... However, I think I underestimated how different American and Kiwi culture really is... you wouldn't think so, but by my example, you've been warned...

1. Within 10 minutes of landing in NZ, I already went to the wrong side of the car when trying to get into the front seat.  Even now, I still walk to the wrong side almost EVERY time.  All the staff at ReChurch are trying to convince me to learn to drive, but I am afraid I will kill someone.  If I can't even WALK to the ride side of the car, how am I supposed to drive (let alone TURN) on the correct side of the road. 

2.  I need to remember to first look right and then left when crossing the street.  Also, pedestrians DO NOT have the right-of-way unless they are at a designated cross walk.  Even in parking lots. With just these things in mind, I have almost died numerous times.

3.   I asked for sugar in my tea and coffee… which is apparently a very british thing to do... NOT KIWI.  I got weird looks and felt really self-conscious.  I will have to learn to like my tea and coffee with no sugar.  They have tea time here... A LOT.

4. Being fluent in English barely helps here.  With a combination of their slang and the accent and how fast they all speak, I can barely understand the things people are saying to me.  I find myself saying, "Pardon?" a WHOLE lot.

5. BBQ's here are VERY different than BBQ's in the States.  Yes, it is a time to hang out and grill, but these people love their food... like they eat 6 meals a day basically (shoot, my efforts to lose weight are NOT going to be fostered in this environment...).  When someone asks you to a BBQ at their house, do NOT assume that they have everything covered for you just because they don't TELL you to bring things to eat or share with the group.  EVERYONE brings their own food to BBQ's in NZ... the only thing the host provides for the guests are the drinks.  Thankfully, at my first BBQ, where I had to learn this lesson the hard way, someone gave me half of their grilled chicken so I had something to eat at dinner.  I will not make that mistake again.

6. I am taking public transportation while I am in NZ so I have been trying to learn the bus schedule.  Well, the first time I tried to take the bus, I missed it because I got the time wrong (details details).  Determined not to make this mistake again, I went early to the bus stop to await my bus.  When my bus approached, I walked to the curb... and my bus flew past me.  WHAT?! Well, apparently you have to wave down the bus in order for it to stop to pick you up.  Shoot.

7. They eat cheese, butter, and mayo on EVERYTHING.  I hate all three of those things.  The first sandwich my host mom made for me? Butter, cheese, and Ham.  I took the cheese off and gave it to my host brother but I ate the butter and ham.  I can definitely say from that experience, I will definitely be packing my own lunches.

8. 'The Hobbit' was holding auditions a week and a half before I arrived in ChristChurch.  Now, it was kind of a half serious, but long standing joke back in the states that I should totally try out for a part!  Well, I was going to try and tell this story to all my coworkers at ReChurch, but before I had the chance, one person looks at me and says, in front of the entire group, "Do you know you'd make the perfect hobbit?"  I am glad everyone is already getting an accurate impression of me.

9. People walk around barefoot all the time here.  It's my kind of place. However, it really grosses me out walking through the mall and seeing people with superrrrrrr dirty feet trying on the same shoes you were trying on.  Sorry, no thanks. I won't go that far.

10. Coffee here isn't just coffee.  There are millions of kinds.  I didn't know what kind to get, because looking at the vast array of choices on the menu caused me more stress than I liked, so I asked for just a large plain coffee... in NZ, no such thing... instead? "We have long black, short blacks, flat whites, and fluffies..." ....What?

Different cultures are so wonderful and I am so grateful to be getting this experience.  But culture shock is for sure hitting me in certain areas... WAY more than I anticipated coming to a country I figured would be pretty similar to the U.S.. Stick with me over the next six months... it's gonna be good.