30 hours.

Welcome to the first (of many I'm sure) "Bethisms: NZ Edition" blog post.  Going to a new country brings many interesting experiences... moving to one for six months can cause even MORE interesting (or in my case, awkward) experiences.  30 hours doesn't seem to be that long of time.  In fact, it's really not that long. However, for me, loads of Bethisms can occur... Here are the awkward moments I had in the first 30 hours of my departure to NZ:

1. Waiting to board my plane from Chicago to L.A.? I was on the phone with my sister Jackie, I started WEEPING, and the younger guy sitting next to me moved a couple of rows away.  Obviously crying made him very uncomfortable.  Then I ended up sitting next to him on the plane... seriously... what were the chances?! He did not make ANY type of conversation with me on the entire flight.

2. My flight to Aukland was LONG to say the least... and naturally, I would be sitted next to an extremely obnoxious couple.  THANKFULLY I was in an aisle seat so I could get up and move whenever I wanted (13 hours is a LONG flight), but still.  They were super touchy-feely (and I HATE PDA) and tickling each other the first 45 minutes of the flight.  The woman had the giggle of Fran Drescher meets Peter Griffin from 'Family Guy.'  They were also telling inside jokes over and over and OVER again... I finally got to the point that I decided to stop reading and put my head phones on.  The guy looked at me because I was pretty much blaring my music.  I looked back at him and clearly turned my iPod volume up even more.  I am normally not this sassy with strangers, but I could not stand it anymore.  Another annoying thing? Every time I had JUST fallen asleep, he decided he needed to get up and go to the bathroom.  I took his mint from his dinner plate... oops.

3.  Customs in Auckland... Well, first of all, carrying all my luggage without a cart/trolley was hilarious enough. Going through customs?  They made me open up my bags and they searched my shoes... mainly my rain boots.  "Have these been used or are they new?" "Um, they are used..." "We normally take boots like these away because they carry coil and seeds..." "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be a big deal.  They look pretty clean to me, though."  "Next time, it will be a $400 fine." "Oh, okay, thank you..."  Close one... good thing I look like I am 16 and probably made them feel bad for me. 

4. The bathrooms in NZ freak me out and confuse me.  First of all, the toilets are all like mini toilets... seriously, they are way smaller than American toilets... and, instead of just having a button to push to flush, the one's in the Auckland airport had four buttons.  It took me like one full minute to even figure out how to fully flush the toilet.  The huge line of women waiting waiting probably thought I was crazy.... especially since there was only one stall and there was NO way they didn't know it was me trying to figure it all out.

5. After I arrived in ChristChurch and were leaving the airport, I almost got hit by a car (look right and THEN left) and also walked to the wrong side of the car to get in the passenger seat.  My host family just laughed at me... at least they are getting a dose of my awkwardness from the get-go... there shouldn't be too many surprises from now on...

I will make sure to keep you updated with more and more Bethisms over the next six months! 

Kentucky Fried EVERYTHING.

I am in Louisville, Kentucky taking a class about cross-cultural missions in preparation for my internship in New Zealand... WHY they chose KENTUCKY as the location for this particular class is beyond me.  I know a couple people from back home and in Omaha who actually really like Kentucky... and before I came here, I just made fun of it based on stereotypes and just to make those people mad.  However, now that I am here I realize that... I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG.

Here are some HILARIOUS things I have encountered while I have been in KY... some awkward, most just ridiculous and super stereotypical:

- I asked one guy, who is a native Kentuckian, about what his favorite food was.  His response? "Fried Chicken or anything from Cracker Barrel."  I thought he was kidding and was waiting for him to crack a big smile.  I was ready to laugh and say, "Wow, you are actually pretty cool for making fun of your state a little!" But none of that happened... he WASN'T kidding. Awesome.
- Kentucky accents are just horrendous.  Really, they are... I don't care what anyone says. Weird twang.
- I could see how it might be pretty in the summertime or fall when all the leave in the countryside are changing, but the cities are super hick and gross... like one strip mall I saw had Burger King, McDonald's, Wendy's, AND another burger joint... okay now, watch your cholesterol.
- Apparently, the number one killer of babies is child abuse... They probably feed them bbq ribs and fried chicken for every meal and their poor little bodies can't handle it.
- They drink sweet tea for almost every meal... at least the Kentuckians in my class do...
- I have heard too many "Oh My Lanta!"'s this week already and we are only on day three of five.  I might freak out the next time I hear it.
- I got chewed out for pronouncing the city wrong.  Okay people, don't spell 'Louisville' that way if it's not supposed to be pronounced that way.



I adore the class I am taking and love everything I am learning, but there is a reason why Louisville is a "well kept secret"... no one ACTUALLY wants to go there.

It's All Amanda's Fault...

I don't know what it is, but it seems that whenever I am around my sisters, especially Amanda, my awkwardness flares up more than normal... Take today for example:

- Amanda and I went to the mall to go to a really cute paper/stationary store. We were trying to find a parking space in the lot but were having no luck. I was getting frustrated with missing spots and dumb drivers. At one point, I was pulling out of one particular lot, and I was stopped because a big cement truck was stopped right in front of me and needed to back up. I made my frustration very obvious... and then I notice a construction worker staring at me. He gives me a hand gesture and look that basically says, "Okay girl, calm down. We'll out of your way in just a second." Once the cement truck moved, he looked me in the eye and gave me the motion to go. I am embarrassed my frustration was obviously noticed...

- Amanda, Elliot, and I went bowling. There were a bunch of people at the alley and both lanes next to us were occupied. I was getting confused about which bowling balls were ours or the couples' next to us. It was my turn to bowl, so I went up trying to pick out which ball was mine. As I was moving the different bowling balls around to get mine, the guy next to us came up trying to get to him and his girlfriend's bowling balls. I felt bad that I was in his way and moving around their stuff... so this apparently was my natural response, "Oh, I'm sorry for moving your balls around!..." He just looks at me and I could just feel the blood flood to my face. I need to just apologize and not say anything next time.

- Tripped pretty badly in front of a huge crowd of people as we were leaving a restaurant after dinner. Now I trip a lot, but I just hate doing it in front of huge crowds because then, after everyone sees me trip, I feel like they talk and laugh about it for the next five or ten minutes... plus recalling it later in the night for a few giggles.


I am normally not this awkward in one single day, so I am blaming Amanda's presence.

Winter is WonderFALL.

I have an issue with balance. And clumsiness. And falling. And awkwardnesss in general.

From reading my past blog posts, this should come as no surprise.

Here are a few events that have transpired over the past week... I hope you find them entertaining, because looking back at them, I do...

1. This one does not have to deal with my clumsiness but more so with how attracted creepy men are (or seem to be) to me. I don't know what it is, seriously... I also don't mean to sound conceited... but I feel like whenever there is kind of a creeper at either a party or in a class, they are drawn to me. Unfortunate, really... maybe I'm too nice? Nah, that can't be it. Well, there is this man in my printmaking class. I don't know exactly how old he is, but I am guessing maybe in his early thirties... well, a few years ago, he was actually in my art fundamentals class. He yelled at me one time for looking at his drawing (while he was drawing...) Hmmm, yeah. I try really hard not to judge people... and I do my absolute best not to be rude or short with obnoxious individuals... but it is REALLY difficult not to just be completely annoyed and freaked out by this guy. Every day in class, he asks me about my most recent facebook status. Now, I know that by putting it up on Facebook, I should be expecting people to see it, but it is just weird when I post something that says, "I have the greatest friends" or "I'm thankful for mashed potatoes" and he asks/tells me, "Who are your friends? What did they do to make you think they are so great?" or "I like stuffing more than mashed potatoes..." Sometimes it takes me a minute to realize he was stalking me on Facebook. Let's just say, he is not my "friend" anymore. He is also one of the most proper speakers ever... He could be asking something as simple as, "why did you decide to draw an old man?" and it comes out like this: "Beth, may I ask you something? Where and how did you acquire the concept of etching the elderly male for this upcoming project?" I am all about proper English, but I am also all about understanding exactly what you are saying as soon as you say it. I find myself either asking him to repeat his questions or having to pause a second to think about exactly what he is asking me. Another side note, he is like 6'5'', almost 300 pounds, bald, with old man glasses. Okay... Sorry, tangent, I just had to describe him. So this was the situation that transpired between me and this man last week:

J: Beth, what, may I ask, is the exact date you will be graduating?
Me: The 18th.
J: Please forgive me because I know you have already disclosed this information, but what field are you studying?
Me: Art and Education... remember? I just had that gallery opening?
J: So what do you plan on doing with those two areas in future years? They seem to be very separate and distinct from one another.
Me: I want to teach art.
J: I imagine you will not be financially stable with teaching, am I correct?
Me: I know many people who are teachers and doing just fine.
J: I can't imagine teaching is especially rewarding. Do you think an art background causes you downfall?
Me: Why would it cause me downfall if I am teaching art?
J: Because it is not a financially stable career path either.
Me: ... Not entirely true, but whatever.

and at the end of class...

J: Beth, may I ask you your plans for this upcoming weekend?
Me: Not sure yet... packing and studying probably.
J: Well, would you be interested in joining me for an evening of dinner and wine?
Me: Ummm, no thank you.

Truth. He asked me on a date (and wine?) after telling me that I basically chose a sucky, financially-insecure career path... Of course I said no. My friend who sits next to me in class almost burst out laughing since he was witness to this entire situation. Awkward? VERY.

2. I decided to go to the Creighton basketball game on Thursday with some really good girl friends of mine that I just haven't seen in awhile due to our busy schedules. Well, Saturday (in case you weren't in Omaha) was just a ridiculous day of weather... SUPER windy, SUPER cold, and SUPER snowy. We had to park in a far away lot at the Quest Center... and because of the weather, we all SPRINTED once we got out of the car. Well, about halfway from the car to the door, I trip as I am crossing the road because I didn't see the curb. I FACEPLANTED and slid in snow in the middle of the road we were crossing. Me friends? They made sure no cars were coming and and kept on running. Yep... clumsy me. My jeans were damp for the rest of the game...

3. On Sunday, I went to the grocery store to pick up some food for my annual ugly sweater Christmas party I have with friends from Church. Well, because it had snowed the day before, the parking lot was just filled with that gross gray slush.

Gross Gray Slush + Shoes with no traction = FALL

Yep, I slipped and landed straight on my back in the nasty slush. People around me came running up to make sure I was okay... it was all silent worries and then I heard it... a four year old DYING of laughter as to what I just did. Best thing about it? I went right inside and got my groceries... I balanced on the cart on my way out.

Single and Ready to Mingle

I am single. True. But, believe it or not (this is a major nudge to my family), it is not the end of the world. I am okay with being single... OH MY GOSH, I am happy being single?! WHAT? How is that possible?! Well, it is. Get over it.

Unfortunately, I feel like this fact about my personal life is frequently brought to my attention by my loved ones (cough cough family cough). I have come to terms with the fact that I am not dating anyone. I haven't seriously dated someone in a long time. I know the people in my life don't seriously MEAN to bring up my "independence" on numerous occasions, and at this point, it kind of has been a long standing joke rather than a serious nudge for me to find a man and settle down, but just being honest, sometimes it gets obnoxious... and awkward...

So here is the most recent story:

Back in March, my sisters and I got professional photos taken. We were planning on compiling them in some sort of matter and then giving those photos to my parents for their anniversary (this past September). Well, Jackie was kind of in charge of the whole thing and thought it would be cool to make a photo book for them. I completely agreed! We decided to give them the photo book at my art show when the entire family was together. We gave the book to Denny and Gail (insert the swooning over it)... So glad they liked it! But here's the kicker: Yes, we looked good in those photos, TRUTH... but Jackie, being the creator of this photo book online, was given the opportunity to write her own little copyright notice in the book... here is what it read:

"All rights reserved. No part of this book may be copied or reproduced. Why? Because I said so. So don't copy it. Plus, copying it means that you want to stare at the Cavender girls more. Why else would you want to copy it? I mean, sure, they're cute, but isn't that creepy to make a copy of something in order to just stare at pictures of people? If you must copy it, then copy it so you can look at Beth. She's single and ready to mingle. Amanda and Jackie are taken."

Nice. Glad that this will be a part of that book FOREVER. You might as well write "Dog Lady 4Eva" (I hate cats).

Am I being dramatic? Probably. Is this copyright notice awkward... No doubt. Thanks, family.

Fatty McFatFat

Not being down on myself or super self-conscious, but I know I am not the smallest or skinniest person ever. It’s just the fact of life… I have curves. As Jessie Bennie would say, “Beth, you’re just a regular-sized little person”. True.

Well, the other day, I was at Walmart just picking up a couple things. I went to the checkout line, and the guy ringing me up was kind of weird and was just trying to make super friendly conversation. I, trying to be nice, responded to his questions and comments about my purchases. Well, a girl behind me in line started talking about how cold she was. The cashier turned to her and said, “You’re cold?!” She responded, “Yeah, well, I have like no body fat so I get cold really easily.” He turned to me and said, “Well at least she isn’t super bony… I mean, I can’t imagine how cold YOU must be! You’re SUPER bony… Ha, just kidding…”

I think he just called me fat.

Really? Did that just happen? My response was silence… I gave him an evil glare and just grabbed my things and left.

Next time something like that happens, I am knocking all the gum and candy down before I leave. That’ll show 'em.

Rebel with a Cause.

I wish I had more time to blog... but because I have now taken (almost) permanent residence in the art studio so I could work on the pieces for my show (in 25 days... AH), I have not had much time to blog about my life on my other blog or about my awkward moments on this blog... but nonetheless, I have had some very awkward moments since my last post.

So, now I am presenting to you on my small break from art making, TWO awkward moments. Enjoy. This is quite a treat... for both me and hopefully you.

Well, like I said, I have taken ALMOST permanent residence in my art studio, which is on campus in the art building. Well, I spend a TON of time there. I try to get there between 7 am and 9 am most mornings and I try to stay for at least 6 hours. Some days, I am literally there for 12 hours. Well, one Friday night, I was really focused and didn't want to leave. I had been in the studio since 10 am at it was already about 11 pm when I decided I was going to stay for a few more hours. It never occurred to me that this might be a problem... I figured, "Well, you have to have an ID card to even get into this studio, I'm not bothering anyone or being loud, staying till the middle of the night will not be a big deal." 11:50 rolled around and in walked public safety... this is what happened next:

PS: The building closes in ten minutes. You'll need to pack up your things and head out before then.

Me: Um, I am actually a BFA student and I have an art show next month, I am here all alone just working on my project. Would it be okay if I stayed a little bit longer?

PS: No, sorry, you'll have to leave. School policy.

Me: Seriously?

PS: Yep. (turns around and walks out)

On normal circumstances, I would spend a couple more minutes working on my art, clean-up, then leave like a good, compliant girl. I was NOT feeling compliant... and I was very annoyed he disturbed me in the middle of painting and was making me leave. I decided to stay... but how?

I hid. Yep... I turned off the lights in my studio, took my computer into the bathroom right next door, and stayed in there for 20-25 minutes looking up the national geographic pictures of the day and reading PostSecret entries. By the time I walked out of the bathroom, the building was officially closed... I was in the clear!

I went back into my art studio and went back to work... but I obviously forgot about the HUGE windows in the studio (without curtains). At 1:20, I hear the studio door open again... and in walked the same public safety officer that gave me my warning... this is how THAT conversation went:

PS: I told you an hour and a half ago that you needed to leave.

Me: I know, I am really sorry, but I have so much work to do and I am really not bothering anyone.

PS: It's school policy... It's MY job to make sure nothing shady is going on.

Me: Nothing shady is going on. I am just painting by myself... not smoking in the bathrooms, stealing materials, or destroying property. I know there are a lot of other things going on on campus that are way more serious than me being in this studio.

PS: I don't appreciate your tone... do you know I could report you to student integrity for insubordination? Pack up your things NOW.

I rolled my eyes... I know, I know, I shouldn't have... but what happened after this? He physically ESCORTED me OUT of the building, watched me get into my car, and drive off. What a PUNK. The one time I feel I had a legitimate cause to break rules, I get escorted by public safety and threatened with a visit to student integrity... dumb.

Second story? Not as good... BUT awkward nonetheless. I just finished my shopping at Baker's (a grocery store here in Omaha), and after I loaded everything into my car, I looked to my left... at the back corner of the parking lot, I saw a man and a woman loading a grocery cart into their van. Yep... an entire grocery cart. I could not help but watch them. After about 15 seconds or so, they stopped, looked over at me, and I immediately felt awkward (this was a sketchy Baker's...), got into my car, and drove off... right past them... and they STARED me down. I made sure they didn't follow me home. Why would someone want a grocery cart? Hmm...